Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Sometimes it's painful to wait

Almost exactly 6 months ago, i was living overseas. (that is how i met Daniel.) I lived overseas (Asia) for about a year and a half. It was a LONG journey to get there. Even when I had to move every few weeks, and live out of a suitcase for 7 months, every moment was worth it. I miss it. We miss it. Our plan is to go back overseas at some point. We know Father has us here in the states for this time, and we're asking that we be wise with our time and live it with a purpose.

But it still hurts not being where we have been led to go.

Yesterday my mind was filled with memories of life overseas. Friends that were made, everyday routines that only make sense over there, true community with other believers, and a dependence on Father that is indescribable. Last night, Daniel and I relived some of our favorite times from life in Asia. It's fun, but hard. It stirs up emotions and a longing to go back. Every night Daniel and I pray before going to bed. It's usually him because i'm usually too tired to form complete sentences. But last night Daniel asked me to pray, and I could only get a few words out before crying. I ache to be back.

It's funny how things take so much longer to do overseas: everyday things like laundry, buying food, making food, mailing a letter, etc.... Yet looking back, i realize how much more free time i seemed to have. Of course, i only had language classes for a half a day....but still...
I enjoyed Sundays. We had our morning time together, then TRULY rested. there's so much pressure here to be involved in your church on Sundays and Wednesday's, and maybe i just need to get over that. but I loved resting on Sundays in Asia. it was the first time i recognized what the Sabbath could be.
I know that not everyone is supposed to be in Asia, or even overseas. but that's one thing that led Daniel and i together. we have a calling to the same place and people. we feel at home in a country that isn't ours, with people that don't look like us, and love food that some people might gag over.

I could write forever about what and who i miss, but here's the short of it:

- sharing Truth with someone who has never heard of Him before and has no idea who/what you're talking about
- looking at your surroundings and feeling at home
- forming friendships with others like you and finding out what transparency really looks like
- buying lunch for less than a dollar :)
- being amazed daily at a different culture and loving them for it
-doing things with locals that they think are 'normal'
- hearing 'you're beautiful, i love you!' yelled at you daily by strangers, but wishing they could have a mirror to see they are truly the beautiful ones
-not sleeping well for months and letting it bring you to your knees for more of Him
-catching mice in a friends kitchen because they keep her up at night
Even writing this post...i'm fighting back tears. it's hard. these pictures you see are just a glimpse, a mere snapshot of what i miss. it's hard not to be picky about where i want to be 'used' by Him. it's just that i left part of myself, if not most, in another country.


  1. Laura! I read about you on That Pink Girl's blog and had to sneak a peek at your blog! Back in 2005-2006 I lived in China for 5 months, and that is only 1/2 of the time you were in Asia, but reading your post made me miss that time in my life! I have forgotten almost all of my Chinese (sad to say I didn't keep it up) but it was such a growing time for me spiritually. Thanks for the images and I will look forward to your future posts!

  2. GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sometimes when i am praying for you I miss praying for you in was always a joy to pray outside the box! love you friend!

  3. Sweet friend! I so understand your longings. It is hard to articulate, but you did such a good job. Asia has my heart as well and we just have to trust the Lord for His timing for a return. He is good to give us such rich experiences. We serve a good God, sister!

  4. Laura I am so happy to find your blog!! You are so fun to read.

    We are praying for you and Daniel that in Father's perfect timing you will return to your heart's desire! (but wait right there until we come home so we can catch up! wait...that's my timing) We love you guys!

  5. I feel so many of the same feelings, Laura. It's hard being back "home" when God has touched us so much with the people and places that go along with being a sent out one. I guess we've been back about the same amount of time, and I do appreciate so much of this easy life available here. But a deeper part of me misses something that I had over there that just is not the same here.
    I hope to go back, and hope the same for you and Daniel. God knows what is best, but it really is a gift TO US to be called out to the wilderness in His name.

  6. Hi Laura,
    I just wanted to stop by your blog and say hello. I found you through Caroline and I am a fellow OKC girl so I just wanted to introduce myself :-) I love this post. I have never been overseas on mission, but I hope to one day. Beautiful post.

  7. I love your heart! Thanks for sharing!